Japanese Etiquette: What to Teach Your Kids Before You Go

Japanese culture has unwritten rules around quiet, cleanliness, and respect that kids actually catch on to fast, if you prep them. Here's some things we prepped our kids on beforehand, and some we WISH we had known about!

SHOES COME OFF — OFTEN

You'll remove shoes at temples, traditional restaurants, ryokans, some museums, and many homes. Wear shoes you can slip on/off and socks without holes. Many places provide indoor slippers; bathroom slippers are separate — do not wear bathroom slippers back into the dining area (a classic mistake).

INDOOR VOICES, ESPECIALLY ON TRAINS

Japanese trains are remarkably quiet. People don't talk on phones, kids don't shriek, music is in headphones. Practice "library voices" with your kids before the trip. If your toddler has a meltdown, no one will judge you, but try to step off at the next station to reset.

DON'T EAT WHILE WALKING

It's considered rude to eat while moving in most of Japan. The exception: festivals, designated food streets like Nakamise and Nishiki, and theme parks. Otherwise, find a bench, eat there, and dispose of trash (or carry it).

TRASH CANS ARE RARE

Japan has almost no public trash cans. Carry a small ziplock for kid trash and dispose of it back at your hotel or convenience store. Convenience stores typically have bins inside.

NO TIPPING. EVER.

Do not tip at restaurants, taxis, hotels, or anywhere. It's considered rude. Service is included.

QUEUEING IS SACRED

Lines for trains, elevators, and restaurants are formed neatly and respected. Teach kids to stand in line, not push. Cutting is a real faux pas.

TEMPLE & SHRINE BEHAVIOR

• Bow at the gate (torii) before entering shrines

• At purification fountains: rinse left hand, then right, then mouth (use water from your hand, not directly), then rinse the ladle

• No flash photography in main halls

• Speak quietly

• Don't run on temple grounds

ONSEN RULES (if you go)

• Wash thoroughly at the seated showers BEFORE entering the bath

• No swimsuits

• No phones, cameras, or photos

• Tie up long hair

• Tattoos may be a barrier at some onsens — check ahead or look for tattoo-friendly options

• Family/private baths (kashikiri) exist if you want to bathe together with kids

GREETINGS THAT GO A LONG WAY

Teach your kids these three:

• "Konnichiwa" — Hello

• "Arigatou gozaimasu" — Thank you very much

• "Sumimasen" — Excuse me / I'm sorry

A quiet bow when saying these wins hearts everywhere.

PHOTO ETIQUETTE

• Always ask before photographing people, especially geisha in Kyoto (private streets ban photos entirely, so obey the signs)

• Many shops and restaurants do not allow photography

• Temples and shrines may have specific photo rules

LOST KIDS

If you get separated, station staff and police boxes (koban) are everywhere and incredibly helpful. Teach kids to find a uniformed staff member or any shop worker. Pin a hotel business card inside their pocket.